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Archive for the ‘rants’ Category

Part 2 – Interstate Courtroom Jesus

Posted by anjilslaire on May 23, 2015

1977 was a big year for him. Star Wars was released, and a Daycare teacher took him & his brother to see it. The toys that were released were the hottest thing going, and they each had $2 to buy an action figure.

By this time, they were being watched after school by a kindly old woman affectionately known as Grandma Milly who was the mother of someone their mother was, uh, dating. One evening Grandma Milly took them for a drive across the I-5 bridge into Portland to Jantzen Beach to buy the action figures from Toys R Us. She dropped them off at the door and said she would be back to pick them up shortly.

They spent what seemed like forever staring at the enormous wall of Star Wars figures. Storm Troopers, Chewbaccas, Darth Vaders, Luke & Leia, Han Solo, there were enough choices that they couldn’t make up their minds. Eventually Grandma Milly showed up, hurried them to choose, and they checked out & got in her car.

As they made their way back towards the freeway from the mall, he noticed a police car behind them on the on-ramp. It’s lights were flashing red and blue.

“Grandma Milly, there’s a police car behind us!” “Oh, they must be chasing someone,” she mumbled, and got onto the freeway in the big old land yacht old women in the 70s drove.

Taking the I-5 back into Vancouver, there were now 2 police cars from Oregon following them on the bridge, and then 2 State Troopers from Washington joined them. The police finally pulled them over outside Esther Short Park, across the street from the local American Legion where his mother was a cocktail waitress (the irony isn’t lost on him in his teen years).

An Officer takes them out of the car and chats them up, talking about their new Star Wars figures while Grandma Milly is put in another patrol car and driven away. Their mother comes out of work and takes them home, none to pleased about missing a night’s work. A couple hours later, however, after they are put in bed, he hears the familiar sound of the front door being opened, closed, and locked. Getting out of bed, he sees that she’s gone back to work and he won’t see her until morning. Again. He never sees Grandma Milly again.

Some time later, she tells him that Grandma Milly was in the the local lounge at Jantzen Beach while they were looking at Toys R Us. When she picked them up she was apparently pretty drunk and swerving around the road. At her hearing she was belligerent to the judge and called them all sinners, and lo and behold, she saw Jesus Christ right there in the courtroom. Another office who was a “Hawaiian fella” also saw Jesus in court and fell down, worshiping Him as well. His Honor didn’t spot him though, and threw the book at her.

With Grandma Milly out of the picture, that was the end of babysitters for him and his brother, and started staying home at night alone while she was working. They were about 7 & 9.

 

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Farewell, or – Riveting Tale, Chap

Posted by anjilslaire on September 20, 2012

About 6 months ago, I changed jobs. Left one company for another. There were a variety of reasons I left that aren’t relevant to this post, but I’ve remained friends with several of my former co-workers. I recently ran across my informal resignation mail I sent to my coworkers, including my boss. I thought I’d share it here, to show that parting can be amicable. A few minutes after I sent it that last day, I heard several laughs & chuckles across the cubicles. This was the last email I sent with my former employer’s domain:

Subject: Farewell, or – Riveting Tale, Chap

Team,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ve decided to leave <Redacted>to join the resistance against the secret Amish militia

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I’ve had a great run here and will miss all of my friends, but I hope to stay in contact via my hand-crank OLPC that I’ve bartered for using sickly, unclean goats culled from my new goat farm.

 

I’m leaving to be a goat farmer.

Because the Amish love goats.

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I hope to stay in contact with anyone who finds my thoughts intriguing, and would like to subscribe to my newsletter.

I plan to stay in the loop using the new beta Smoke Signal Protocol being implemented on the twitters. Because that’s OK to the Amish. You know what the Amish say, “Anything under 140 characters doesn’t count.”

 

As a backup for my hand-crank laptop, I plan to install Linux on a dead badger, as I feel it is the most appropriate and well-hidden solution^^^security theater to avoid detection by the aforementioned Amish.

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For those left behind to man  the SecOps vessel, my only bit of advice for all my friends is simply Love Thy Users

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Above all else, *DO NOT* abandon all hope like this poor soul http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6FHJX9QLLA

And remember, it’s all really just fun and games http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw2Qz_ec-w4

 

I’ve recorded a brief monologue to remember me by, attached. <insert audio clip of “LEEROY JENKINS!” at high volume>

 

In closing, I’d like to bequeath some last few things to the following:

To <redacted>, I leave my Deep Moisture Creamy Formula. To keep yourself smooth, player.

To <redacted>, my collection of Forensics manuals on my desk, because he says I’m already dead to him.  And I don’t want to carry those heaving things home on the bus.

To <redacted>, I leave the password to @<redacted>.  Carry the torch, Ninja!

To <redacted>, I leave a bit of advice: If he makes your sammitches well, tell him to keep those shoes off and stay in the kitchen. That’s how I roll, and it works out pretty well.

You can blame <redacted> for all of this. It’s because he didn’t send me any Orange Cupcakes.

 

And finally to <redacted:Boss>. I leave you with a new & different perspective on things to mull over after you return next week. I did *not* lick your monitor. Uh uh. No sir. That wasn’t me. Nope.

But I can’t verify the condition of your mouse.

Thanks everyone!

Ah, memories… But I still love my new job 🙂

Posted in rants, stuff | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Windows + Linux= Each has their place

Posted by anjilslaire on May 20, 2012

So a couple months back I repartitioned my desktop to give more drive space to Windows 7, and also to boot first. I’ve also got Ubuntu 12.04 on the secondary partition still in use. I’ve also added a 1TB drive for my media storage.

After much thought I came to the conclusion that Windows made more sense as a daily driver in my house for a few reasons:
I run Xbox 360s on my TVs for gaming and media playback (netflix, youtube, streaming client for my M4Vs, etc). It only makes sense to take advantage of the native compatibility between the two. I’m eventually going set up DVR functionality on my Win7 box so using the 360 as a set top box is natural.
I like to play PC games occasionally. Hooked to my 42″ HDTV makes my PC much more fun, including gaming thats not on the console.

Now, I still use Linux for many uses, including exclusively on my netbook, which lives next to my chair in the living room. I love the ease of updating, raw speed and lack of malware on linux. But I think it’s ridiculous to ignore the advantages of certain platforms for no good reason. Many people will have good reasons. In this case, I don’t anymore.

Huge Disclaimer: I work for Microsoft, so I guess I have no credibility. Think what you will.

Posted in gaming, internetz, linux, mobile, netbook, rants, xbox 360 | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Personal Reboot

Posted by anjilslaire on February 7, 2012

I know I’ve been MIA for months. Really I do. Been super busy IRL, and most of my random commentary has been via Twitter.  But I’m going to try to post more frequently, and include more than just the Linux nuts & bolts of my  free time. This will include my own warped perspective on reality, games, infosec, whatever new toys I’ve acquired, etc. I may have said it before, but it may be time to buckle up.
Again.

Lame, I know.

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Droid X VZW Gingerbread updated to .602, solves most problems

Posted by anjilslaire on August 27, 2011

So I got the .602 update to my Droid X from Verizon a while back, and it seems to have resolved most of my complaints with Gingerbread on the DX.

All I know is that the phone doesn’t ever lose its data connection anymore, and seems generally mo’ bettah.

Now my next kick is waiting for Wesnoth to come to Android. Pretty please.

Posted in android, Android, gaming, linux, mobile, rants | Leave a Comment »

Droid X Gingerbread update- VZW blames Google

Posted by anjilslaire on June 10, 2011

So I got the Gingerbread OTA update for my DX. In the 10 days I’ve had it, I’ve experienced the following bugs:

2 times: Network data connection dies overnight. In the morning, there is no 3G/1X icon on th phone, at all. Toggling data or wifi on or off does nothing. The only to get the 3G data back is to reboot the phone.
3 times: The phone randomly locking up & rebooting itself.

So, I called Verizon support from my phone (*611) and tell them after getting the GB OTA update I’m losing my 3G. The tech puts me on hold to “look up any alerts for this update.” A minute or so later, she returns, apologizes for the delay, and tells me the following (paraphrased):

*Google* pushed this update prematurely to some devices, including mine. It was not a Verizon update. She assured me it wasn’t anything with my specific hardware, and *Google* is going to push another update in a couple weeks to resolve it.

Yeah.
So now Verizon is saying that Google is pushing updates directly to my phone, instead of Verizon.

Sure.
http://support.vzw.com/system_update/droid_x.html

In any event, I’ll wait for the next OTA, which I’m guessing Verizon is working on. Gee thanks VZW. I understand when patches go sideways or unexpected bugs creep in. But don’t tell me another vendor is patching my OS on your phone. Really.

Posted in android, Android, internetz, mobile, rants | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Hate Unity in Ubuntu 11.04

Posted by anjilslaire on April 8, 2011

Just my own opinion of course. Installed it on a box @work. Boy am I glad I can opt for ‘Classic’ mode from GDM and keep compiz and Gnome intact…
And yes I used Unity on the Netbook edition on the Mini 9 previously. Made me switch to Gnome on the small screen as well after being a big fan of the Netbook interface.
Please don’t make me switch to XFCE again, too.

Posted in linux, netbook, rants, ubuntu, xubuntu | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Battery in place, Maverick incoming

Posted by anjilslaire on October 9, 2010

Got the new 8cell battery for the Mini 9, and its great. Full charge reports 10:20 battery time, & I think that’s pretty accurate.

Ubuntu 10.10 Maverick is coming tomorrow, and I can’t wait to install & check out the new Unity netbook GUI. I’ve been running the x64 Beta of regular Ubuntu and is pretty slick, so I don’t anticipate many isues with this release.

On that note (and I know I tweeted about it) while we may see the bits already available in some places, its recommended not to grab them until the official release is announced due to last-minute possible  changes. Full details & explanation here: http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=1589308.

I’ll be grabbing the torrent from a local university.

Posted in 64-bit, internetz, linux, netbook, rants, ubuntu | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

BIOS A06 updated on Mini 9 sans Windows

Posted by anjilslaire on July 8, 2010

So I packaged up the Windows A06 bios for the Dell Mini 9 in a dos-bootable form, available on Olylug.org here: http://olylug.org/read.php?1,20142.

Just extract the zip onto a dos-bootable usb drive, and from a DOS prompt, cd to \910A06\ and run 910A06.BAT.

I’ve been waiting to update my linux netbook, and finally got around to it. Too bad Dell doesn’t make it easy 😦

Posted in linux, mobile, netbook, rants, ubuntu | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Sword of Fargoal: Xbox Live, please

Posted by anjilslaire on April 24, 2010

I’ve been a fan of Fargoal for 20+ years on the c64. It was always a primary reason for me to keep an emulator handy, to play for a few minutes (Yay for save states!). Then I discovered Fargoal.com and until last year (I think) they had ported it to PC & MAC with the source code included so it ran with slightly updated graphics on Windows, Linux, and Mac. I can’t really describe my enthusiasm, actually.

They provided the files free, and had a PayPal donation button to help fund further developments. I could play it anywhere: On my desktop, on my netbook natively in linux, emulated on my PSP in its original c64 release. Joy, Joy!

Nowadays, it’s apparently a hit on the iPhone, with much improved graphics. I think that’s awesome. Really.

But Jeff, please continue to provide at least the old port for the PC, and  even more importantly, release the new version onto Xbox Live. I’d happily pay 800 MS Points to fire it up on the 360. Hey, Lode Runner is available. Please let us enjoy what was one of the best games ever on the commodore get  some much-deserved multiplatform love.

Either way, I think everyone with an iPhone should roll over and check it out.

Oh, and Android would be cool, too 😉

Posted in gaming, linux, mobile, netbook, rants, role-playing, xbox 360 | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »