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Part 2 – Interstate Courtroom Jesus

Posted by anjilslaire on May 23, 2015

1977 was a big year for him. Star Wars was released, and a Daycare teacher took him & his brother to see it. The toys that were released were the hottest thing going, and they each had $2 to buy an action figure.

By this time, they were being watched after school by a kindly old woman affectionately known as Grandma Milly who was the mother of someone their mother was, uh, dating. One evening Grandma Milly took them for a drive across the I-5 bridge into Portland to Jantzen Beach to buy the action figures from Toys R Us. She dropped them off at the door and said she would be back to pick them up shortly.

They spent what seemed like forever staring at the enormous wall of Star Wars figures. Storm Troopers, Chewbaccas, Darth Vaders, Luke & Leia, Han Solo, there were enough choices that they couldn’t make up their minds. Eventually Grandma Milly showed up, hurried them to choose, and they checked out & got in her car.

As they made their way back towards the freeway from the mall, he noticed a police car behind them on the on-ramp. It’s lights were flashing red and blue.

“Grandma Milly, there’s a police car behind us!” “Oh, they must be chasing someone,” she mumbled, and got onto the freeway in the big old land yacht old women in the 70s drove.

Taking the I-5 back into Vancouver, there were now 2 police cars from Oregon following them on the bridge, and then 2 State Troopers from Washington joined them. The police finally pulled them over outside Esther Short Park, across the street from the local American Legion where his mother was a cocktail waitress (the irony isn’t lost on him in his teen years).

An Officer takes them out of the car and chats them up, talking about their new Star Wars figures while Grandma Milly is put in another patrol car and driven away. Their mother comes out of work and takes them home, none to pleased about missing a night’s work. A couple hours later, however, after they are put in bed, he hears the familiar sound of the front door being opened, closed, and locked. Getting out of bed, he sees that she’s gone back to work and he won’t see her until morning. Again. He never sees Grandma Milly again.

Some time later, she tells him that Grandma Milly was in the the local lounge at Jantzen Beach while they were looking at Toys R Us. When she picked them up she was apparently pretty drunk and swerving around the road. At her hearing she was belligerent to the judge and called them all sinners, and lo and behold, she saw Jesus Christ right there in the courtroom. Another office who was a “Hawaiian fella” also saw Jesus in court and fell down, worshiping Him as well. His Honor didn’t spot him though, and threw the book at her.

With Grandma Milly out of the picture, that was the end of babysitters for him and his brother, and started staying home at night alone while she was working. They were about 7 & 9.



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Farewell, or – Riveting Tale, Chap

Posted by anjilslaire on September 20, 2012

About 6 months ago, I changed jobs. Left one company for another. There were a variety of reasons I left that aren’t relevant to this post, but I’ve remained friends with several of my former co-workers. I recently ran across my informal resignation mail I sent to my coworkers, including my boss. I thought I’d share it here, to show that parting can be amicable. A few minutes after I sent it that last day, I heard several laughs & chuckles across the cubicles. This was the last email I sent with my former employer’s domain:

Subject: Farewell, or – Riveting Tale, Chap


I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ve decided to leave <Redacted>to join the resistance against the secret Amish militia


I’ve had a great run here and will miss all of my friends, but I hope to stay in contact via my hand-crank OLPC that I’ve bartered for using sickly, unclean goats culled from my new goat farm.


I’m leaving to be a goat farmer.

Because the Amish love goats.


I hope to stay in contact with anyone who finds my thoughts intriguing, and would like to subscribe to my newsletter.

I plan to stay in the loop using the new beta Smoke Signal Protocol being implemented on the twitters. Because that’s OK to the Amish. You know what the Amish say, “Anything under 140 characters doesn’t count.”


As a backup for my hand-crank laptop, I plan to install Linux on a dead badger, as I feel it is the most appropriate and well-hidden solution^^^security theater to avoid detection by the aforementioned Amish.



For those left behind to man  the SecOps vessel, my only bit of advice for all my friends is simply Love Thy Users


Above all else, *DO NOT* abandon all hope like this poor soul

And remember, it’s all really just fun and games


I’ve recorded a brief monologue to remember me by, attached. <insert audio clip of “LEEROY JENKINS!” at high volume>


In closing, I’d like to bequeath some last few things to the following:

To <redacted>, I leave my Deep Moisture Creamy Formula. To keep yourself smooth, player.

To <redacted>, my collection of Forensics manuals on my desk, because he says I’m already dead to him.  And I don’t want to carry those heaving things home on the bus.

To <redacted>, I leave the password to @<redacted>.  Carry the torch, Ninja!

To <redacted>, I leave a bit of advice: If he makes your sammitches well, tell him to keep those shoes off and stay in the kitchen. That’s how I roll, and it works out pretty well.

You can blame <redacted> for all of this. It’s because he didn’t send me any Orange Cupcakes.


And finally to <redacted:Boss>. I leave you with a new & different perspective on things to mull over after you return next week. I did *not* lick your monitor. Uh uh. No sir. That wasn’t me. Nope.

But I can’t verify the condition of your mouse.

Thanks everyone!

Ah, memories… But I still love my new job 🙂

Posted in rants, stuff | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

CM7 on the Nook Color rocks

Posted by anjilslaire on April 23, 2011

So I finally got around to upgrading from Autonooter to a full CM7 rom on th Nook Color. The wife (who owns it) was tired of switching between the BN gui and the sort-of android soft keys & market. So, I loaded on via clockwork and then loaded on for Market access, and away I went.

Works Beautifully. Huge props to the cyanogenmod folks for this. Now I’m tempted to pick up a 2nd one for my own fun..

For the record, these are the steps to do everything, cuz I can’t ever remember anything:

1. Burn the clockwork image. I’m using the 8GB card version since thats what I have. Use a different one depending on what you have. Don’t dd your hard drive like a fool:
sudo dd if=8gb_clockwork-0.1-ext4.img of=/dev/sdb bs=1M

this took ages so  I recommend a smaller size.

2. Simply copy the CM7 zip & the google apps .zip to the card.

3. Power off the Nook Color fully, stuff your freshly made micro SD in, and boot up. You’r now in Clockwork Recovery mode. Volume buttons navigate, N button is Select, and Power is “back”

4. Go to “Mounts and Storage” and format the following 3 partitions. DO NOT FORMAT /Boot!

5. Install the CM7 image using the “from the sd card” option, then do the same with the GoogleApps package

6.Take out the Clockwork sd card, and Select Reboot System Now.

&. you’re now booted into  your newly imaged tablet. I recommend bypassing Add Acct, get your Nook on Wifi, tehn go back, add your gmail acct, then start loading your favorites from the Market, starting with Flash 10.2


I obviously didn’t come up with this myself. Tutorials are all over the net. I simply combined & reworded everything I used from various sites to come up with these reminders that my own brain can follow.

Posted in android, Android, internetz, mobile, Nook Color, stuff | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Nook Color rooted

Posted by anjilslaire on March 27, 2011

Yeah yeah I’m late to the party I know ..the NC has been rooted today after a couple weeks of weekend distractions. It’s almost not worth mentioning since it was so trivial and well documented.  One thing I will mention is LauncherPro is a great Android launcher app. Props to that. More details as I play with it more.

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Quick & Dirty Firefox fixes

Posted by anjilslaire on November 17, 2010

Self-note for firefox tweaks on a new install:

Improve page loading by increasing pipelining:

network.http.pipelining = true
network.http.proxy.pipelining = true
network.http.pipelining.maxrequests = 15
New-> Integer
nglayout.initialpaint.delay =0

Stop loading pages in background:
network.prefetch-next = false

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64-bit Ubuntu upgrade

Posted by anjilslaire on September 17, 2010

I’ve finally replaced my aging Athlon XP 3200+ system with a new Dell XPS tower:
AMD Athlon II x4 630
4gigs ram
AMD Radeon 5450 1gig
640gig HDD

Nothing super snazzy, but a huge upgrade for me. It’s dual-booted with a clean install of Win7 home premium x64 & more importantly Ubuntu 10.04×64, which is where the focus of this blog will shift to.

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Baby 2.0, Warcraft III & other adventures

Posted by anjilslaire on August 30, 2009

So I haven’t been as active as I’ve historically been. My Ubuntu systems have been running flawlessly, and Baby 2.0 has arrived, albeit with a rocky start.

As I’ve been in a new job, I didn’t plan on taking much time off for the baby, just the day itself followed by the weekend, actually. However, she arrived with lung problems that required an extended stay in the NICU, including a transfer to another hospital for advanced care.

Without going to further detail, after a week, Baby 2.0 arrived home safe, sound and fully healthy. All is well, so what follows is the official record:

After 39 weeks of compiling, Baby 2.0 was RTMed. However, there was an egregious read error while untarring the archive. After forcible extraction, a cycle of dependency hell ensued, with core components of the binaries refusing to unzip due to unmet depencies, ehich could not be met without the aforementioned components unzipping. Argh.

Eventually, new apt updates resolved the dependency issues, and all processes resumed normal functions. However, this scenario was the source of much woe and gnashing of teeth. Hope I never see these errors again.

Once this was resolved, I set out to try Warcraft III, including the Frozen Throne expansion, running under Wine, including the single-player campaign movies. After a bit of research I found the solution, and the games appears to run very well under wine. Next, I’m going to try to replicate it on th Mini 9.

Posted in gaming, linux, rants, stuff, ubuntu | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Firewalls & Proxies

Posted by anjilslaire on July 18, 2009

I started a new job a month ago, doing security operations on firewalls for a Fortune 100 company. It’s appears to be a good place to work, and as I start getting the hang of things I think I’ll enjoy it. The new responsibilities have slowed my free time quite a bit as I ramp up, so my online presence has tapered off a bit the last few weeks or so.

The nice part is I get to spend part of my day SSH’ed into Unix systems, forcing my command-fu to improve, which I’ve always wanted to sharpen.  Firewalls: another great addition to my repertoire!

Posted in linux, stuff | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

the adventures of cptnapalm and tankgirl

Posted by anjilslaire on April 25, 2009

This was just posted on Slashdot, and I love it. Exactly how I feel about linux, and great narative.
Reposted with cptnapalm’s permission.

In the 1997th year, much Quaking was being done by myself, a young 2ltnapalm. I fragged and it was good. Yet not all was well in the land of the rocket launcher. There was this fell beast, Windows 95, which ever was watchful for any joy in the world, existing only to bring the blue hell to the screens of the earth.

“Surely, there cannot be this misery alone for the computers of the earth. For in the earlier days of home computing I cast off Windows 3.0, who was then but a pretender operating system, for DOS 5. But Windows has grown more ambitious if not more useful and its infection spreads wide and no retreat to DOS does it permit. Tell me, Quakers, are their no alternatives to this dreck? And speak not of MacOS, for it is a joke.”

Out of the depths of IRC, from the servers of EFNet, the oracles of #quake did speak.

“Linux. For it is stable and the Carmack has decreed that Quake shall run upon it with joy in its heart.”

“Carmack the Wise is a powerful programmer and much does he understand. Hark, I shall give this Linux thing a shot.”

To the merchant Computer City, I did go and they had a boxed copy of Red Hat 4.2 (if my memory does not betray me) which I did buy. Upon returning to my abode, I did begin preparations for the installation upon my whitebox. Partitioning was simple enough. The choices which one needed to make were not difficult, but to one who was but yet a pup it, it was so foreign. Eventually, perseverance and much RTMFing did triumph. Linux was installed. But one other thing must be done. X.

Many were the incantations invoked and the curses hurled due to X. Long days were spent editing text and typing that accursed startx only to find my work in vain. And yet did I endure for I knew that Windows 95 was cackling in the darkness of Redmond, awaiting my defeat to consume my soul should I fail and never again would I be able to hold my head high amongst the geeks of the realm.

Always teetering on the edge of disaster, but never managing to destroy my machine (which the pages of man ensured me was possible), I one day found something new. Something unexpected. For after messing with mode lines and color depths and other things arcane, startx worked. A graphical user interface was mine!

“My heart doth rejoice in this success! I shall install Window Maker and Enlightenment and many others besides so that I may never be bored with the look and feel of this machine, for that is the crowning glory of this victory: I can have any UI I desire.”

Feeling very pleased with myself, I looked over all I surveyed with great confidence, yet the victory was not mine alone. For this unnamed box had endured much in the trials of installation. Yes. “Endured much beyond the reckoning of the typical home computer,” said I, “and not just endured, but thrived and in the coming days shall have many challenges to overcome, so henceforth let this machine be known as tankgirl!”

Many were the adventures of tankgirl and, now, ltnapalm. Running a website over a cable modem, a MySQL database server, and numerous other tasks that tankgirl did perform, singing all the while with her K6 233 and 128 megabytes of RAM. In time, helper machines were obtained so that less interesting tasks tankgirl would not have to do herself, for her processing time was valuable and wasted on other tasks. A 486 there was, scorned by many as out of date and useless, now raised from its nadir to its apex with Linux installed and became a mighty wall of fire, shielding the local area network from the depredations of script kiddies and other wearers of the black hat of crackerdom.

Many were the nooks and crannies that cptnapalm and tankgirl delved into together, from dabbling in C programming and shell scripting to kernel compilation and switching to Debian. Together we witnessed the horrors of and learned the mysteries of bind. And Quake there was, of course, too.

After long years, time did takes its toll and its toll was death. Impoverishment prevented upgrades and our nomad existence did batter her shell. But she soldiered on and on, where the endurance of lesser computers would have failed. Brave and bold until the end, peaceful was her departure, for one morn she would not be roused with a power on nor ever again for she had departed her silicon, travelling into the ethernet, never to return.

Mourning I did, yet not forgetting gratitude to have been the user of such a fine machine for so long and the operating system, Linux, which did allow her to shine so brightly.

Though her fans are now silent and her processor processes no more, she is remembered. Let the webcrawlers of Google and Yahoo and all others there may be find her tale here and echo it for all so that the songs of her adventures are sung forevermore.

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Garmin Nuvi 205

Posted by anjilslaire on February 6, 2009

I received a GPS for Christmas, and finally got some time to play with it a bit.

The Nuvi 205 is pretty slick. I mounted it to the windshield & plugged it in. No reading of the manuals needed here kids.

After agreeing OK to not play with it while driving, I found it very easy to cnfigure and get me where I want to go. As soon as I got home from my 1st trip, I plugged it into my  PC to see about getting it updated.

The good  news ius that Ubuntu recognizes thdevice as a storage drive, so I can add extra voices, cars, etc by simply unzipping them into the appropriate folders.

Wine even allows the installation of the Garmin software updater.

The bad news is that the Garmin software updater does not recognize the device when plugged into Linux, even under Wine 1.1.14 😦

So, I had to plug it into a WIndows box to update the OS and install the 2009 map update, which I got free in my 60 days of free updates.
The map update was 1.2gigs. Sheesh.

Aside from that snafu, I’m now cruising down the road being tracked by “Judy,” the British voice guiding my onscreen Black Pearl.

Posted in linux, mobile, stuff | Tagged: , , , , , | 8 Comments »